


What if That was the Only Time we Kissed?

by LovingGwendolaj



Category: Game of Thrones RPF
Genre: Actor RPF - Freeform, Braime - Freeform, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Longing, One Shot, RPF, Romance, Smut, gwendolaj - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:29:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27153181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovingGwendolaj/pseuds/LovingGwendolaj
Summary: **This work is RPF **Gwendoline visits Nikolaj in Iceland.When she got to the door she took the mask off and added it to her purse.  She sucked in a deep breath and knocked on the door.  In a few seconds the door flew open and Nikolaj stood there looking extremely annoyed.  His face changed completely when he realized who was there.  “You didn’t look through the peephole first,” she chastised him.  “I could have been a murderer here to kill you.”His eyes wandered up and down her body and he slowly licked his lips.  “You might kill me anyway,” he said seductively.  Gwen felt her heart start to pound and she had her answer - he certainly didn’t seem upset that she had shown up in Iceland to see him and absolutely nothing between them had changed.
Relationships: Gwendoline Christie/Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 20
Kudos: 49





	What if That was the Only Time we Kissed?

**Author's Note:**

> A dear friend did something really amazing for me and in this weird fandom life we live, writing a fic for them is apparently a great way to show my thanks 😊 So my friend I hope you love this and here’s my official dedication :
> 
> I’m dedicating this one to the most amazing friend a person could have. I had no idea the day you messaged me that you would become so important in my life, but I consider myself very lucky that the stars aligned and brought us together. It’s your love for these morons that got me started and your support and encouragement that keeps me going. So my friend, this one is for you! 
> 
> Thank you all for reading 😘😘😘

Gwendoline looked at the photo one more time in the elevator. She didn’t consider herself an impulsive person, but when she’d been scrolling through Instagram the week before she’d seen the picture and took a screenshot of it - then for the next few days she found herself looking at it frequently, thinking about that day and everything it had changed, until she finally booked a flight. 

She was actually a bit nervous. It had been so long - and she honestly didn’t know how he would react to her being there, especially so unexpectedly. They had talked on the phone the night before and he said he missed her - but did he miss her enough to be okay with her showing up at his door unannounced? 

When she arrived at his floor she pulled off the curly brunette wig she’d been wearing and tucked it into her bag. It was amazing how a simple wig could keep 99% of people from recognizing her. It made life so much easier, particularly when she was travelling. Although, to be fair the mask certainly helped as well. Chance of her getting recognized wearing both were pretty slim. Gwen fluffed her long blonde hair, smoothed her clothes and stepped off the elevator. It was going on 8 months since she’d looked into his eyes, face to face, and in a matter of seconds she would finally get that chance. 

When she got to the door she took the mask off and added it to her purse. She sucked in a deep breath and knocked on the door. In a few seconds the door flew open and Nikolaj stood there looking extremely annoyed. His face changed completely when he realized who was there. “You didn’t look through the peephole first,” she chastised him. “I could have been a murderer here to kill you.” 

His eyes wandered up and down her body and he slowly licked his lips. “You might kill me anyway,” he said seductively. Gwen felt her heart start to pound and she had her answer - he certainly didn’t seem upset that she had shown up in Iceland to see him and absolutely nothing between them had changed. 

The state of their relationship before the pandemic began had become predictable. They went through cycles of trying to stay away from each other because they knew what would happen the second they were alone, but being apart for weeks, even months sometimes, was painful. They craved each other in a very unhealthy way. They both knew what they were doing, the highs and the lows, wasn’t good for either of them, but the longing and the need - they just couldn’t ignore it. Neither one of them were strong enough to just stay away. If it wasn’t him visiting London it was her doing something like she was doing right then - usually with a lot more planning though. 

Once the pandemic hit and they were both trapped at home, forced apart by circumstance, Gwen started to wonder if maybe it was time to figure out how to untether herself from Nik. The first two months she didn’t call him, didn’t return his calls, ignored his texts and completely shut him out of her life. She felt it was the only way for her plan to be successful. She likened it to people quitting smoking cold turkey. But the withdrawals almost killed her. She went into one of the deepest depressions of her life. It was dark and scary - she felt like she was drowning. Everyone in her life assumed it was because of the pandemic and she didn’t tell them any different. 

Then one day she allowed herself to listen to the voicemails he’d left her. There were 17 of them and it took her 3 hours and two boxes of tissues to get through them. It was like a rollercoaster ride of emotions. At first he was really confused and worried about her, then he started to get mad and bitter, finally he came to a place of understanding - he realized what she was doing without her having to tell him - and he decided he would try to support her by doing the same thing himself. 

It was one thing for her to make that decision on her own to get over him, but to hear him agree and express that he would be making a conscious effort to do the same - it hurt. Maybe it was the selfish, slightly conceited part of her or maybe she just couldn’t stand the hurt and pain of missing him any longer, but she called him immediately. 

They talked about everything, including her idea that maybe being locked down from Covid was a sign that they should just stay away from each other. She told him how hard it had been and he said it was the same for him. They decided to just keep trying to get back to the way things were between them early in their relationship - when they really had been just friends. Some of the best moments she could remember between them came in those days. The teasing, the laughter, the way they managed to isolate people who just didn’t understand their dynamic - it was incredible and it was special. 

Neither one of them could deny that there had always been a spark though. As long as they didn’t act on it, as long as it didn’t go beyond some harmless flirting, a lingering touch now and again, and maybe a few looks that lasted too long - they were able to coexist in a healthy way. But when they were forced to become physical, not by choice, that’s when everything changed.

Standing there, looking at him again, after so long - it was clear that it didn’t matter how much time they spent apart, it would always feel the same way when they were together again. They were caught in the same cycle forever and while she had been sure only a few months earlier that she wanted to break that cycle - now she was happy to be exactly where she was once again - even if it would mean all the hurt that would follow until they finally came back around one more time. 

“Get in here,” he growled, tugging her into the room and then looking out into the hallway before shutting the door. 

“Don’t worry, no one saw me,” she said, trying to ease his mind about the possibility of people figuring out they were together. Their fans were damn good detectives and had essentially caught them on many occasions. 

“You don’t exactly fly under the radar,” he said skeptically. 

Gwen set down her purse and pulled out the wig. She put it on with her mask and proved her point. “See? No one recognized me at all.” 

Nik walked slowly over to her and gently removed her mask. “I would recognize you no matter what,” he said. He tugged off the wig and set them both down. “That’s better,” he added, smiling at her. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered, stepping fully into her personal space, exactly where she wanted him to be. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling his scent. It didn’t matter how long it had been since she’d smelled him, she would never forget the delicious aroma he gave off. It made her stomach flip flop with excitement. 

“Are you upset I’m here?” she asked, opening her eyes. Even though she knew the answer, she still felt she needed to ask. 

He shook his head. “I’ve never been so excited or more terrified at the same time,” he replied. She understood the feeling. There were the same flutters and tingles of excitement all over her body, inside and out, but there was also this almost paralyzing fear that she hadn’t experienced before. She decided it was probably because they really had made an effort to not be in this very position again and she wondered if the pain that would follow would take her to new depths of despair? 

They stared at one another, both waiting to see who would break first. Her eyes dropped to his mouth and she longed to kiss him, but she didn’t want to be the one who gave in. She always waited him out, every time, and it felt good to one up him - even though the eventual kiss felt so much better. Gwen was pretty sure he waited longer than ever, but as always in one sudden movement he finally attacked her lips. It was quite reminiscent of the very first time their lips touched and she loved that little throwback. 

The passion she felt when he kissed her, when their tongues brushed and he pulled her into his arms - it was magical. There was heat and intense, raw desire. It was in these very moments that she cursed herself for ever thinking of depriving herself something so delicious. 

Gwen knew what came next. Their first fuck after being apart so long was always the same and always incredible. It was wild, often loud, and a complete mess of two people clamouring for every part of each other. The desperation she felt for him was addicting. 

He always started the kiss, but it was almost always her that took things to the next level. Just as Gwen reached for his pants Nik’s phone rang and he groaned loudly. “Don’t you dare answer that,” she warned, continuing to undo his jeans and pull down the zipper. 

“I have to. It’s my wife. She facetimes everyday at this time and if I ignore her she will just keep calling,” he explained apologetically. “She fucking driving me crazy lately with this dance show she’s doing and her clinginess.” 

“But of course you play along as the dutiful and supportive husband,” she said, shoving his pants to the floor. Nik didn’t stop her, he even helped by kicking them off. 

“Of course,” he shrugged. “But you have no idea how bad it’s getting. It’s like the longer you and I have been forced apart the more confident she gets that it’s over. And it’s like she wants the world to know she’s won a prize or something.” The phone stopped ringing by the time he was done talking. 

“You enable it though,” Gwen stated matter of factly as she pushed down his underwear to expose his cock. Her mouth started to water. 

Nik sighed. “I know, but I - “

“Stop,” she interrupted. “I didn’t say you were doing anything wrong. You don’t need to explain.” 

“But -“ The phone started ringing again and he groaned louder. “I’ll make it quick, I promise.” 

Gwen gave him a wicked look and led him to the desk and chair. She shoved him into the chair. “I’ll just be down here,” she said innocently. She just barely fit as she ducked under the desk. 

“Please behave,” he pleaded, even though he knew it was a useless request. 

He said hello in Danish, as he leaned forward with his elbows on the desk to make sure she was well hidden. Before he could say another word she moved her head forward and took his cock into her mouth. She felt his leg stiffen where her hand was resting and she would have laughed if it wouldn’t have got them completely busted. 

Gwen sucked and felt his dick growing harder inside her mouth. She had no idea what was being said between Nik and his wife in their first language, but the entire time they talked she had her own conversation with his cock. She made sure to stay as quiet as possible, knowing the speakerphone could easily catch her slurping and sucking sounds. 

She recognized the goodbyes when he finally said “Hej hej” which his wife reciprocated followed by something she guessed was ‘love you’ which Nik obviously echoed. 

When he hung up he pushed his chair back, pulling his cock out of her mouth with a pop. “You are evil,” he said, glaring at her. “Do you have any idea how hard that was?” 

She batted her eyelashes at him. “I think I do, since it was just in my mouth.” He shook his head at her joke but she saw the corners of his mouth twitch. 

“Stand up,” he demanded. “Take your clothes off - slowly.” Gwen eyed him and moved out from under the desk. As she stood she realized with a tingle, that this was going to be a little different than usual. 

Before she started her strip tease he took off his shirt so he was sitting there watching her, completely nude with his rock hard erection still glistening with her saliva. Gwen gave him the show he was looking for, taking every article of clothing off slowly, teasing him while she exposed her body. She stripped down to her panties and then took a second to rub herself with them still on. She could feel how damp they were as she touched herself through the material. She was so turned on, her body on fire with desire and anticipation of what was next. 

She turned her ass towards him and worked her underwear down, bending as she did, giving him an even better view. Once she stepped out of the panties she grabbed them and stood up, then tossed them at Nik. He caught them in the air and drew them to his face to inhale her scent. He moaned loudly and she felt her core start to ache even more. 

Gwen walked over to the chair and put one leg up on the arm, fully exposing her pussy to him. Nik dropped the panties and took the bait, reaching out to touch her. It was her turn to moan when he sunk his fingers inside of her and then pulled them back out, dripping wet. She watched, panting slightly, as he moved his hand to his mouth and sucked off her juices slowly. 

“Get on the bed, on all fours,” he demanded. She enjoyed it when he exerted dominance over her, but she liked being in control even more, so she did as he asked, but the second he climbed onto the bed behind her she turned, flipped him onto his back and straddled him before he had a chance to stop her. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy a nice hard and deep doggy style fuck, he knew it was one of her favorite positions, but she really wanted to ride him and watch his face when he came. The little taste of being fully in control she’d gotten while sucking his cock was addicting and she wanted more. 

She lifted herself up and pushed back, lining up perfectly before she slowly sunk down his thick shaft. It was such a familiar, comfortable feeling to have him inside her, filling her up to the core. Gwen rocked her hips slightly, just enough to feel him a little more and to tease him a bit. When he finally groaned she gave in and started to move, fucking him slowly. She found the right angle, that felt incredible and rode him just like she planned. 

Nik’s hands were all over her body, squeezing her breasts and her hips and her ass, then finally he pulled her down and kissed her neck, sucking and biting, while she continued to move as best she could, unable to break the grip he had on her. She could feel her orgasm building at that point and started to resist against his grip, riding him faster, trying to get herself off. He wouldn’t let her go and give her the freedom to maneuver, and that frustration was actually quite erotic. She fucked him and fought his grip at the same time until she was exhausted from the struggle, but still desperate to reach her peak. 

She gasped when his arms fully circled her and drew her against his chest. That’s when he took over from below, any restraint he might have had long gone. This was more like it, Gwen thought, this was the wild, unbridled fucking she was used to with him. It was a matter of seconds before his hard thrusts pushed her right over the edge and she came with a loud moan and a happy shudder from head to toe. His hands were in her hair, buried in her long blonde wisps as he kept moving and Gwen managed to get just enough distance between them to watch his face like she’d planned. She understood the look. His expression was twisted with what could have been mistaken for pain, but she knew it was just an intense craving and also the struggle between the want to keep going and the desperate need to come. 

When he finally did come she watched his expression change as his strokes slowed and stopped. She could feel her pussy still throbbing from her own orgasm now that he’d quit moving and as it pulsed on his cock she enjoyed the look on his handsome face. She felt blessed that she was lucky enough to see his most intimate expression on many, many occasions. She also hoped every time that it wouldn’t be the last. 

“I’ve really missed that,” she groaned, tipping to the side as she slipped off of him. He immediately situated himself to hold her against his chest - another thing she loved about being with Nik. He was always up for cuddling afterwards and she happily snuggled up to his warm body. 

“Me too,” he agreed, stroking her back softly with the tips of his fingers. “So, what made you decide to come here?” Nik asked suddenly. 

Gwen reluctantly pushed off of him and slipped out of bed but returned quickly with her phone. She resumed her comfortable position and then she pulled up the photo and showed it to him. “I saw this and I couldn’t stop thinking about that day.” When Nik looked at the photo he smiled wistfully. “Do you ever think about it?” She asked. “Do you ever wonder - wonder what if - what if that was the only time we kissed?” The screenshot she was showing him was a picture someone posted of Jaime and Brienne’s love scene where they characters shared their first kiss. That day when they filmed the scene was the very first time her lips had touched Nik’s and no matter how hard she tried to stay in character she couldn’t leave the impact of shooting that scene behind. It changed everything between them and there was no looking back from that day forward. 

He glanced at her and then back at the phone. “I can’t imagine that ever happening,” he replied. “I know our first kiss was in character, but we fought it for years. I don’t think it mattered whether or not Jaime and Brienne ever kissed - it was going to happen eventually for us anyway.” 

“But what if it didn’t?” she pressed. “What if it was just that one time?” Gwen knew her life would be very different if she wasn’t so tied to him, body and soul. 

“I can’t fathom it,” he said softly. “There would be a lot less stress and pain and guilt in my life,” Nik admitted. “But I feel like you’re not something I can control,” he added. “I don’t mean you as a person, obviously I can’t control you,” he chuckled, giving her a look. “But the way I feel, the way I’m drawn to you - even when we both agree we shouldn’t be here, doing this - it feels like it’s not a choice, it’s just something that has to happen.” He kissed her bare shoulder. “Does that sound ridiculous?” 

“Not at all,” she replied, shaking her head. “Listen to you getting all deep and romantic,” Gwen teased. She couldn’t help it. They had gone too long without ribbing each other and it was one of her favorite things about their relationship. 

“Don’t get used to it,” he warned. “The perverted, selfish asshole in me will be returning shortly.” 

“Oh good, because I’m only here for 24 hours and I wouldn’t want to miss out on being insulted for 23 and half of them,” she laughed. 

“Nah, you’ll only get a couple hours of insults - it’s way too hard to talk with various parts of your body in my mouth.” To prove his point he bent his head and latched onto her closest nipple. “I plan to make the most of the time you’re here.” 

He kissed his way down her body and settled his head between her legs. Gwen moaned happily and closed her eyes. Pure and utter bliss. She was at the highest point in the vicious cycle of their relationship. It was the memories of these moments that kept the circle going and gave her a tiny bit of comfort in the dark times. Sometime, someday, perhaps something would happen that finally broke the wheel - but nothing could truly change until they both wanted something different and for the foreseeable future there was too much comfort and contendeness in the routine they had perfected over the years. For the first time in 7 months she was really happy and that feeling would bring her back to him, time and time again.


End file.
